We can live life one of two ways. We can take ownership in our lives or we can take the victims role. When we take the victims role we tend to think in terms of “have to” “should” “got to”, terms that denote a surrender of control, a surrender of any real choice. Yes, there are many things in life that require attention. There are things we need to do in order to affect the outcome we desire. The difference is in how we view the outcome and how we view our part in making the outcome possible.
In the ownership role, we look at ourselves as a full part of every equation. The thinking process is more along the lines of “want to” “desire to” “going to”, terms that suggest action on a deliberate level. Doing things that we want to do in order to affect the outcome we desire to have. We transcend from victim to owner once we begin to think in terms of “want to”, “desire to” and “going to”. In the owners role we take full stock in knowing that if we don’t want to do something, we have the ability to express that knowledge and to abstain from participating. We don’t feel threatened by victim thinking.
When we look at life it’s easy to slip into the victim role and not even notice it. It’s easy to believe that we have to go to that job that we can’t stand or that we should do what other people want us to do. When you take the victim role, you go thru life without really being able to affect the outcome without somebody else’s permission. In the ownership role, there is a power, a drive that pushes one to look at the world differently. We go to a job that we want to be at. We do what we want to at work. We do what we want to in our social lives. We are a part of each role and demand of our lives.
The ownership role isn’t easy. It requires us to accept that we are in control and we can make choices. When the person in the ownership role looks at their dayplanner, they see things that they want to do. The daily tasks aren’t for others they are for us. We are participants in the tasks that are to be done. When we go to meetings, we are going to be part of the meeting. We may be the planner or facilitator but we are part of the meetings. We are doing things for others because we want to, not have to. It’s a simple matter of a paradigm shift.
We have to shift our mindset from victim to owner. We have to see ourselves as part of things and if we can’t be a part of things then we shouldn’t participate in them. Why chase and endeavor that we can’t affect or influence the outcome of? That’s a waste of precious life time. As owners, we choose to be proactive rather than reactive. We think ahead and look for positive outcomes. We avoid putting ourselves in positions where others are in control and dictate how and when we live our lives each day.
Start working on yourself today. Work to put yourself in the ownership role. If you aren’t on the job you want to be on, find a way to get on it or create your own job. If you aren’t living the family life you want to, communicate with your family and yourself and begin to live in a proactive manner. Do the things you want to do after you make preparations to do them. Don’t overextend yourself. Work up to each step gradually and build a solid foundation. Study and gather the knowledge and resources you need to live like you want to.
Being the owner of your life is a rewarding challenge. Once you get in the position of being owner of your life, you will feel the effects of the paradigm shift from victim thinking to owner thinking. You will OWN YOUR LIFE.
VH
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