Three O’clock in the morning. Aren’t most sane people asleep if they aren’t one of the midnight oil burners who are at work? Anybody else up at three a.m. just because they want to be? Or are you like me and you’re up because your body is fighting thru the pain flareup and you can’t get to sleep? Whatever the reason you’re up doesn’t really matter because in the end, WE’RE FLIPPIN AWAKE AT THREE A.M.!!! Go figure eh?
Now don’t get me wrong, you can accomplish a whole heck of a lot at three in the morning. Many of us remember our younger days when three in the morning meant we were just coming in from the club. Or maybe we were just up cramming for the final Professor Gluma-Glum was giving in the morning. How about it’s the weekend and your roommate went home and you have the dorm room all to yourself; maximize the moment baby!! Yeah, being awake at three a.m. isn’t always as bad as it could be but this morning it is.

So, I’m sitting here trying to fill my head with pictures of things that I enjoy, as a heterosexual man, looking at. Yes, let the mind wander. Try to meditate as I wait on the medication to kick in realizing that it has kicked in but as usual is short-lived and I have to find other ways to get past this damned flareup.
So, I take to the blog and see what I can write that somebody might find interesting enough to want to read. I’m not a super blogger by any stretch of the imaginiation. I’m not even a half-assed blogger. I just blog because I have a website and I like to be able to help people find ways to deal with their pains like fibromyalgia, sciatica, arthritis, back pain, neck pain, leg pain, arm pain, wrist pain, foot pain, hand pain, migraines and just about any other kind of pain that your body might decide to let you experience at some point in time, there I go obsessing with time again, or another. I think I got all the great “keywords” in there this time…ha ha ha ha. Yeah, for those of you who are into this internet thing you’ll get the “keywords” reference and realize the joke that fell flat for the rest of the folks who are up at three a.m.
Now, back to living through this moment in time at three a.m. in the morning. Wouldn’t it be great if a football game came on right about now? We could flip on the tellie and watch us a great game of two titanic teams battling it out smashing into each other causing pains that their youth won’t allow them to feel until sometime in the next twenty to twenty five years. Oh yeah, you can bet your sweet booty, wonder if I could have said bootyliscious booty there, that even though they play through the pains today, their bodies will remember and will come around in a few years to collect that toll for the level of play it allowed them to have today.

Funny thing how our body doesn’t forget what we do to it. For some folks putting the body through drugs, smoking, drinking, sports excessive partying and late nights when they were younger was the choice of their generation. The folly of youth and the ever quickly to rejuvenate cells made those years go by easily and we moved on into our middle years. A few aches and pains showed up but we just pushed past those and started our mid-twenty workout regimen. Mountain biking, archery, more swimming, tennis, racquetball, rough touch football and other sports replaced the partying, drinking and recreational “stuff” for most. Yep, we had found a new way to keep ourselves going and feeling young. Take a few Aleve and you’ll be as good as new in the morning.
Fast forward to the mid-thirties and we’re taking the newest vitamin supplement on the market. You do know that every day it seems like a new vitamin supplement that we “just gotta have” comes on the market promising to keep us going like we did when we were seventeen but add the subtle hints that Father Time is throwing in here and ther and we keep on chugga-luggin through our thirties into our early forties.

The forties see us being “successful” with our great desk job in our great office overlooking that great golf course that we just can’t wait to get out on a play a few rounds. We spend a lot of time sitting on our keisters in our high back Italian leather chair that every mid level up and coming exec must have to cradle our fattening butts and tender lumbar regions. Then of course there’s our nice new or fairly new sports car with the hand-tooled seats and the flash and gleam to keep heads turning when we go thru the yellow light in a hurry to get nowhere in particular because it’s three a.m. and we already called our wife to tell her we’re on our way home after having a few drinks with our college classmate who decided it was time to pay us a visit. Wow, what an evening. I don’t remember the last time I drank and ate like that. I’ll have to hit the gym extra hard tomorrow to make up for it but it was worth it seeing old “Greg” again. Boy, it was great seeing “Greg” but he looked kinda old for forty-five. I dont’ look like that do I? Nah, I’m in shape. I workout and I feel fine, ah, unh, enh, just let me bend over here to get off my shoes….aaa eeee ouch…my back. What the devil? Where’s my Aleve? I gotta get this pain to stop so I can get to work in the morning. It’s three a.m. I got about four hours sleep. Maybe I’ll see how I feel when my alarm goes off and I might call in and go in a few hours later today since I don’t have any appointments.
So, welcome to the mid-forties. Your first sign that your body is coming around to collect for all of those years of dashing and dancing, spinning and winning. What? You thought you were going to be special and YOUR body wasn’t going to let you down and start to have some breakdowns. Get a grip because reality is that sooner or later we all have to pay the piper. Some more than others but we all have to pay. Maybe old “Greg” didn’t look so old after all. Maybe it was the lighting in the place or the number of beers. Maybe this back pain isn’t really a pain I’m just thinking it’s a pain since it is three a.m. and I’m really tired from the last four holes of golf I finished today after work.

What is that noise? Oh, my alarm clock. It’s time to get up already? Wow, I’m still hyped from seeing “Greg”. Let me get in the shower and get ready for …..aaaaaah shit, that hurts. Honey! Honey! I can’t stand up straight. My back is locked up and the pain. Oh my GOD this hurts like hell honey. Call the doctor. I gotta get something for this pain. I can’t take it, it’s killing me. Aaah, oooo, eeee, unnnn. What did I do to myself doc? All I did was try to take off my shoes at three a.m. and my back just pinched me. I took some medicine and thought it would be better in the morning but when I went to get out of bed it hit me again like a ton of bricks. Why does it hurt so bad? How can my body do me like this?

Well, that brings me to about where I am today. Awake at three a.m. trying to figure out how my body can do me like this. How can my body generate so much pain over and over everyday for the last twelve years? It seems almost unbelievable that I’ve been in this kind of pain cycle for almost twelve years. The flareups are totally disabling. Can’t function. Can barely get through each breath let alone move around to go to the bathroom or do anything that a normal, mid-life, married father should be doing with his wonderfully supportive and loving family. Of course there’s the good side, after the flareups have subsided and the pain returns to a more manageable level where you can breath and you can sit up for a little while and talk to your wife and kids. Just don’t get overexcited and try to do to much as you can easily create a flareup and squash the good time you are in the middle of.

On the good days it’s like a backache that makes you take some medicine and get off your feet looking for the ice pack and heat packs to begin alternating them to relieve the pain. Your appetite comes and goes and doing things with the family is a touchy subject. There are few windows of opportunity to work on maintaining the happy family and when one of those windows opens up you have to be ready to do all you can to create more windows. Exercise, meditate, rest, relax and read up on ways to ease the pains faster, quicker and at home without more medications should be at the top of your list of things to do.
That’s why I’m up at three a.m. To keep sharing ways to do just that. My websites have the information that I use to make mine a healthier, happier, less pain-filled lifestyle. http://www.vinicent-d-holland.4t.com is a lifestyle look at pains and ways to enjoy living rather than give in to the pains. http://www.ChronicPainHero.4t.com is the more “serious” site as I include links for products that make exercising easier and accessible at home and also products that the whole family can use to stay in the mainstream of society and education. You will find Games, computers, music downloads, fitness equipment, electronics, housewares, you name I give access to it. Also, I have listed some job opportunities for stay at home moms and dads at well for those who might be disabled by their chronic pains and need to make money to continue to support their families budgets.

http://www.vge-llc.4t.com is a lighter look at my chronic pain experiences. Then there’s http://www.realisticallycorrect.wetpaint.com just an all around wiki site that you can leave your side of the story while reading what I’ve left along with some of my fellow pain sufferers. So, I hope that I’ve bored yo enough to fall asleep, after all it is three a.m.
Goodnight until next time.
V.Holland a.k.a. The Chronic Pain Hero
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